Random Solitary Thoughts

Thursday, March 28, 2002

Had a round last night! Woohoo!!! Imagine this... four guys, supper at midnight... 8 cans of beer... Brothers' DVD. Twas a fun night of partying which I haven't done in a while.

Lots of scandals have been floating around in campus. And I have only a week or so left. I am done with my animation, but I am still animating. Go figure. I've been partying and having restful nights now. My room is still a mess but no one is bothered to clear it up. I guess it gives us all a sense of being lazy for once. Went to see my classmates presentation today. And I must say I'm impressed. A lot of good work has been produced this year. I look forward to the next.

My Gundam models are collecting dust. I'm eagerly waiting for the time to move out so that I could pose them and maybe build a mini set for them when I have the time. I'm still considering if I should stick the comments board up. What do you people think? Oh right... I forgot I don't have a comments board anymore. XP Anyway, personal comments or suggestions are welcomed. You guys know how to contact me. I'm a liberated soul.

Been having instant noodles lately. Growing a liking to them. This is not good. Had another water cut in campus. Girls are complaining about how much they smell. Guys are gloating about how they have water. Girls are accusing guys of NOT bathing as to preserve the water level in their tank. Guys think the girls are just being jealous that they [the guys] don't use as much water as they [the girls] do. And we STILL BATHE!!!

I've been having mood swings lately. And I apologize to those who have been affected by them. Sorry y'all!!! I still respect and love the yellow dog which has inspired me all this while. I haven't finished the book I'm currently reading. My 40 gig harddisk is now out of space. I need my burner back. Heck, I need CD's to burn. My jar of 1 cent coins is barely half full. Anyone care to donate some change?

A lot has been happening that I've been neglecting to write about. That explains my sudden spree of talkativeness... plus the fact that I can't do anything while my comp is rendering. And yes... I'm still working...

Time for dinner... got to boil the water for my instant noodles. I'm starting to miss all this. Maybe I'll write a song... or maybe... I'll just write...

Monday, March 25, 2002

Late nights. Woohoo!

Sunday, March 24, 2002

Changes come and changes go. Now I only wish for more to look forward to than this blog. I'm changing my template to the ones provided by blogger as I find no time to edit my own plain white one. I probably sound melancholy to the world right now. But even I can't explain the changes in me. No, this is more than just another young man ranting away at belated puberty or anything. It's just a turning point in my life, that's all.

There, I've said my piece. Now I shall rest until the time is right again. See you somewhen.

I have come to the point where I really don't have anything to write about anymore. My life is at a crossroad, [and by that I mean no reference to that putrid movie spreading around like the plague] I don't know where I'm going from here. All I can say is that I'm not feeling extremely peachy for any reason whatsoever. Kinda down these days. Must be the year...

It has become increasingly hard to access the internet. I'll probably end up lodging with some relatives after this. Solitare sounds like a nice game to play.

Monday, March 18, 2002

Only two days left to animate! I'm at the peak of my career as a student! On the other hand, I seem to be pissing people off constantly. I got to get a life!

Saturday, March 16, 2002

A drop of slumber and a barrel of monotony. Mixed well in a tub of sloth and drink contents in a gulp. Sure to induce sleep.

Animating is a tedious process. I find it hard to keep awake after a few mins of animating. Perhaps it is the lack of rest in my daily schedule these days. Perhaps it's the lack of motivation. I need good food...

Friday, March 15, 2002

Tying down the weights of burden on your shoulders in a twisted knot of worry and anxiety. Burning up my brow like the sun on the tarmac on a hot day, screaming with the intensity of a banshee as she orgasms and spasms in lust. Erotic heat as the fog decends into the valley of sands and dust. Humidity claims the throne of the toilet seat and everyone prays for cooler weather to work in.

The weather is hot. Woke up hungry around noon. Called girlfriend to ask her how she is and to apologize for not replying her message earlier as I was still sleeping in my torn blanket. Computer was still rendering. Decided to take shower. Played warcraft with my fellow roommate. Beat the crap out of him with a new strategy I envisioned in the shower. I always think of something in the shower. People wear their thinking caps... I wear my shower cap... wait.. I dont have one. Nevermind. Decided to go for lunch. Went to have Ba Kut Teh at Dengkil. Had two helpings of rice. Pork never tasted better... [pardon to all my Muslim friends reading this...]. Came back and found computer still defragmenting. Decided to hang out for a bit. Defragmentation complete. Computer now runs 5% faster. Decided to test out speed with Counterstrike. Played two rounds with no frags and embarassing death rate until I heard continuous buzzing from my yahoo messenger.

Only one person does that. I quitted counterstrike... wasn't doing so well anyways... to answer the call of Kotakkosong. Yesh... the secret's out. I'm going out with her. The blogger everyone knows as Kotakkosong, or Emptybox. And then I found myself trying to burn a CD with all my cluttered MTV's and junk. And then I found myself writing this blog. The sky is now dark... it's about to rain.

Darkness decends on the towers topped with blue. The beacon of watchfulness fades in the mist the clouds the lands. The lights hide in the shadows of the trees and awaits the horns of war... The fiery inferno dampens in my mind like the whimpering of a kitten who lost it's mother. Subtle. Quiet. Melancholy. I have found peace. Peace in the droplets which were let loose from the mists above. They fall like angels floating down to cleanse the lands once again. And then I saw... they brought peace...

Wednesday, March 13, 2002

I am losing faith in myself. Been sleeping less and less while working more and more... I don't want to become a workoholic. Went for the Mask night last Tuesday. Had some thoughts of my own when I got back. I'm not gonna post them up here, I guess people don't need to be reminded of certain things.

Took a long cold shower, thinking about the future and all, wondering what is to become of friends and family. A rather morbid thing to be doing, but I guess after 4 years of campus life, everything's going to change. So I just stood there, and thought. And wondered. And dreamed. And then, I started shivering, so I dried myself and went back to sit in front of my computer, finishing up the last remnants of my final year project.

Reflections. Sometimes I wonder if people will remember me after all this. If people will still stay in touch. Then I thought, that can only be answered with time. Am I feeling depressed? I hope not. Life's too short for depression. And I have a long way to go...

Sunday, March 10, 2002

I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy... man.. this therapy isn't working out... I've never been more negative in my whole life... and I think I'm starting to crack from all the pressure...

"With only a few weeks left to go... the infamous investigator Squido Kalamari braves the midnight winds as he trudges on the mountain slopes of work... with only a durable 'nec' mouse and a standard keyboard, he searches the scanlines of his monitor... scanning the pixels for any sign of lost vertices and curves. With uncanny accuracy, he pinpoints the location of the next keyframe and watches as the system lags in order to complete the task. After three seconds of waiting, the vertices are in place and the curves are in order. Agent Kalamari sits back with a cup of milo and contemplates the meaning of animation. At last, he comes up with the answer... quoting from someone, [I can't remember who... sorry... but I'm sure it's an animator] "Animation can only move pictures..." and so it is... "

I have been working with a yellow softtoy dog on my head... things are really hectic... I have brokened my long time oath of not eating instant noodles... my gundam models are collecting dust... my mousepad gave way a while back... and I'm collecting boxes from all those oreos I bought... this is uncanny... I'm getting batty before my age... think happy think happy think happy think happy think happy...

Saturday, March 09, 2002

I am happy!!! Nuff said!!! I'm working non-stop... facing bugs in the animation... thinking a lot about unemployment and the future... worrying about my portfolio and resume which isn't done yet... found an old website in a nature-loving segment of geocities which I created 6 years ago... planning to convert it to a website for my portfolio which incidently has nothing to do with nature...:)) But I am still happy!!! Dem.. I feel so positive... I'm beginning to feel silly... but heck... at least I'm happy! Life is good... watched mothman prophecies [hope I spelled that right...] good movie. Go watch it.. no spoilers... I'm not gonna 'jeff' it for anyone of you out there!!! Good watch... just don't try anything funny if you're the kind that spooks easily... otherwise.. enjoy...>:)

Thursday, March 07, 2002

I have a feeling that I've been pretty negative bout life for sometime now. That could be the reason why I'm a miserable loser. I've been realeasing negative energy all around me... and it unconciously makes the people around me uncomfortable as well... I realised this as I was reading a blog recently. The amount of negative energy emitting from it was so overwhelming, I actually felt pity for the poor fella... yet angry at the same time that this person did not make the most out of life and be happy but rather, choose to be angry about it, venting out rage and hatred at the things that makes life miserable. In doing so, that person has overlooked the beautiful things in life... like Warcraft 3... and Disciples 2... and Counterstrike... and of course, people like my girlfriend... but that's another story [I'm probably gonna get a beating for writing this...].

My point is, I realised how much I resemble that person... and that I've been releasing negative energy all around me all the time... and unconciously I have become much less of a person than I was to begin with. No wonder people can't stand to be around with me... I'm such an @$$hole!!! So from now on... I'm gonna adopt that positive attitude that I had when I first started here... which makes me wonder... now where did I get my negative energy from? Well... another time to ponder over it.. right now... I have work to do... and I wanna get it done fast... so I can play games later... [see see... it's working already... I feel more positive now!!! :D] Be prepared world... the Kalamari is unleashed yet again to spread love and compassion to the whole world!!! Pessimists beware!!! Onwards to peace!!!

Tuesday, March 05, 2002

"It has been awhile since I've seen the ocean... I think I should... na na na naaa... na na na na naaa na naaaaaa naaaaaaa.... nyah nyah nyaaahhh..... " lyrics from A Long December by Counting Crows. Thinking of home... missing the beach and sea where I grew up. And the feeling like I wanna give everything up and just repeat the semester next year. It must be the 3d software...

It's been awhile since I 'clicked' my way onto the blog pages... and I can tell by the number of updated blogs that I'm not the only one... Work seems to be on everyone's minds these days... either that or the day where we shall forever be liberated from the clutches of our Money Making University. Fours years down the drain... what a life it has been... and four years down the road... we'll look back and wonder... why didn't we ever paint that third finger on the water tower... sigh... regrets...

The Kalamari still has a sense of humor... the kalamari is not getting enough sleep... the kalamari is starting to sleep with his softtoy dog... the kalamari has callused fingers from guitar playing... the kalamari cannot update his blog frequently due to the inefficiency of the network in campus [another reason to leae this place ASAP]... the kalamari still believes that Mashimaro deserves more credit than Pikachu... Long live the Kalamari...