Oooohhh.... f@ck! This is bad, this is bad! He knows! God knows how he knows but he knows! Even I'm not sure if God knows that he knows, but he knows!
Ohf@ckohf@ckohf@ck! He's BACK!!!!
Why so soon?!?!?! It's too soon it's too soon it's too soon! He's not supposed to be back till late! That's what he said! Oh s#it! What am I gonna do??!?! I'm so f@cked!
Hooooooolleeeeeeyyyy s#iiiiiiiiiiiiit! I can hear his bike, he's back! Onononononono, wait, I know. I'll pretend, yes, it's always good to pretend. I'll just pretend like nothing happened and he won't know. I'll just sit and look up at the beautiful full moon tonight and pretend that nothing happened...
But he'll find out!!! Eventually... and eventually means it'll be too late! Haha!
But what if he knows the moment he stopped the bike? He has this uncanny way of knowing things. Some might call it a sixth sense, and some say we have it too, but it's just too much to RISK!!! I just know he'll know! My own sixth sense tells me that!
Oh f@ck, he's back! He's just outside the gate. Hide the evidence, HIDE the evidence! Oh wait, it's too late, he'll see. I'll just act innocent. That's right, don't look him in the eye. He'll know.
Dum de daa...
Cathy, what're you doing??? Cathy! Stop acting suspicious! He has his way of knowing! CATHY stop that now! Just chill, okay? Relax. Don't! F@ck! Just act normal, okay? We're in this together. If I get in trouble, you'll get in trouble too. You're my accomplice remember? Haha!
Okay, he's got off the bike, taking his gloves off. Act calm act calm. Just sitting there, acting calm. That's it, Cathy, do the same. That's a good girl. We're gonna make it.
He's opening the gate, Cathy! Stop! Don't go there! Just stay here with me. I need you. Please. Thank you.
Okay, he's coming in. He doesn't have a clue... (grins inside)
*In reality, I dare not grin out loud for fear of being discovered... but all seems well... for now... *
Wait, he's not smiling. Oh f@ck, he paused! I knew it, I just knew it! Oh no he's taking out the torchlight app!!!
Phew! False alarm. He's just shining the way in. Okay, divert his attention away from the area. Okay, that's good. We're safe. Oh f@ck! He stopped again. My heart is beating. My sixth sense tells me he knows. Oh f@ck he knows!
Wait, he's going into the house. We're safe! But wait, he isn't smiling. I bet he knows something's up, he just hasn't seen the evidence yet. Anytime now...
Cathy, behave. Remember, the plan is to be on our best behaviour. Hopefully he forgets to check... That's it, go to your room Cathy. I'll wait here for him. Okay, he's wheeling the bike in. So far so good, but don't smile yet. It'll give it away.
He's shutting the gate, we're almost there Cathy. Just stay nonchalant. F@ck! He stopped. Ononononononoo... he's turning to the left... I knew it, he KNOWS!!! Some how, he just knows this stuff! Arrrghhh! We're busted Cathy, we're so busted. He'll have our @rses for dinner! Oh f@ck oh f@ck oh f@ck!
HE FOUND IT!!! NooOoOOOOoOo!!! We didn't cover it up in time!!! He's sorting it out now!!! Oh woe is me!!! He's gonna kill me!
S#it, wait. He's walking back into the house. Could it be? Are we forgiven? Oh no oh no oh no... oh f@ck! He's giving me The Grin! Oh f@ck I'm so dead! He's going in, he hardly even flinched after seeing the mess we made! We're so in deep s#it! Oh f@ck!
He's still inside. I don't think he's gonna walk us tonight. That's our punishment.
He gave me The Grin. I'm sure he has something planned. Oh f@ck, I'm so scared! It's your fault Cathy! If only you jumped up and down to greet him like you always do! It's all your fault! What? Me? WTF?!
Oh f@ck how am I to get peace of mind?!?! Oh the guilt! Oh the suffering... oh f@ck oh f@ck oh f@ck...
-Cirque the Relentless-