Colleague #1: Rantings of an Errant Colleague
I am chatting. I am chatting... I am still chatting. Will I never stop chatting? Will I die if I ever stop chatting? No... yes... I just might. The boredom. The monotony of working here. The doomlike feeling of being watched by my immediate supervisor!
But I don't care! I don't care what he sees or what he does or says. I'm gonna chat all day. And when I get back, I'm going to chat somemore. And then tomorrow, I shall chat and gossip again.
I am so sick of my immediate supervisor. He is so anal-retentive, I tell you, he is so anal. He keeps on looking past my shoulder to see if I am working or not, but I don't care. I don't want to work. I don't like to work. I'm just gonna sit there and chat with colleague #2 for as much as I want, and I don't care what he says or does or sees because all I wanna do is chat!
The system is so screwed. Why is he so uptight about people working all the time? Doesn't the term 'break' makes any sense to him? Why can't he see that I'm only human? Why doesn't he realise that the average human attention span is only five minutes? How can he expect me to sit there for ten minutes actually doing work? It's preposterous!
What more can he expect of me when he comes in late everyday? Not only that, he takes the occasional nap and actually expects me to work? What is this? And if that's not bad enough, he expects us to stay back when he himself doesn't!
And he's always complaining about my work! Redo redo redo! Always asking me to redo my work! What's wrong with my work? I'm a graduate for crying out loud! He is always demanding that I show him my work in progress! Then he will ask me to change this and that! Doesn't he know how hard it is to do it in the first place? Doesn't he know it took me a whole day of chatting to finish just two minutes of cheap flash animation? Well, I'm not going to spend another day chatting about the smae thing just to do 'his' corrections! I'm gonna do something else and chat about something else with colleague #2!!! So there!
And what's this about my work being of low quality? I'm graduate remember??? How else will I graduate if my work is not industrial quality? Answer that, you spineless, evil, nose-picking immediate supervisor! You can rot in heck for all I care! I am never gonna listen to you! Never! I will never be nic to you, never! I will never do any work, never! And I will never stop chatting. Yeah, you guessed it, NEVER!!!
Now what was it I was saying to colleague #2? Oh, right... cantonese idols... oooh....
Colleague #3: The one formerly known as Papa-hen
Work! Work! Work! Aiyah... why this script ar... haiyoh! The number is relative to... *mumble* *mumble* Eh..? Why like that one? I see... can lar... Eh, forgot to drink my teh ais.
Wah! Every time drink teh ais, sure accident one. Eh, today got paper or not? Why? I want to go 'pang sai' liao. Always wan. Drink teh ais sure accident. Dunno why. Eh? Got people inside? Colleague #4? Haiyoh... everytime like that one. Aiyah.. cannot tahan liao... go opposite.. heheh!
Wah... relieve! Okay, work work work! Eh, check stock market for a while. Wah! Today got show to see liao. Market go down teruk! But this one go up! Then the tip also so funny one. Wah, sure got show to see later! Eh, colleague #1 chatting again? Aiyah, not my problem, that one senior designer punya pasal. Do work do work! Eh, colleague #2 surfing internet!
Aiyah, that one senior designer punya pasal. Work work! Eh, senior designer sleeping again? Must be last night, sleep late again. Wah, his ribosome so 'keng'. Not bad, I like! Eh, work work... later must sell share before price drop... wah! Drop liao! 'Gai!!!' (<---Teruk in hokkien)