Random Solitary Thoughts

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Signs of over-working...

Original Script

Character: I need help, my swing is not swinging fast and high enough.
Mother: OK! I can give you a hand!
Character: Wow, it's great! I like it mom, please push harder so I can swing faster and higher than Character B!
Character B: Of course! You are now having so much fun up there, thanks to mom helping you.

Perceived Script

Character: I need help, not fast and high enough.
Mother: OK! I can give you a hand!
Character: Wow, it's great! I like it mom, please push harder, faster and higher.
Character B: Of course! You are now having so much fun up mom.

If this happens, or is happening, or has happened to you... seek help (preferbly professional... or at least someone who can take you to professional help) NOW!!!

P.S. This is a public service announcement.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Valentine's Day

I have never been a firm believer or a believer for that matter, of the over-hyped, over-fussed, over-rated, and over-priced day. So it was fate, or rather, the presence of an other-half that somehow miraculously prompted me to plan something on this expensive and commercialized day.

So it was, that with my practical and cautious manner, I booked a table in advance at Victoria's Station and bought tickets for 'School of Rock' two days earlier.

All went well, and dinner proceeded without much hassle, save for a bit of a jam heading towards my other half's place as the !*#&$^(% Federal Highway was ridiculously jammed (as usual, but unusually more so today... P.S. I later found out that the Tour de Langkawi and the infamous Malaysian Supercup (which isn't all that super) were the cause of the unnecessary jam).

Dinner at Victoria's Station was a bit of a let down, as the food wasn't as good as expected thanks to an over-enthusiastic crowd, and under-planned couples crashing in at the most inconvenient of times. It was excuseable seeing the amount of people there, but it was unexcuseable that so many people had to pick the day to tell their loved ones that they love them. Why can't they choose some other day??? V-day has lost all meaning thanks to all these commercialized people wanting a piece of the cake. Half of them were college kids with supplementary credit cards! (yes, I admit it was unfortunate to be jumping on the band-wagon, but being young means doing silly things that everyone thinks is 'cool'!

Mental note to self: Book a place far from the reaches of society but still packs a punch and go extra early to beat all the over-zealous Malaysians who CANNOT for the life of them be ON TIME.

Anyhow, we missed about 15 minutes of the movie thanks to the jam, (SOME road department better do SOMETHING about the traffic conditions, or prepare to lose a few (thousand) votes this year...) but it was enjoyable enough for us to forget about the slight 'mishaps' of the day.

Second Mental note to self: Book a restaurant in the SAME shopping complex as the cineplex to avoid mindless jams caused by over-lepak people with no driving manners, or skills for that matter. Or common sense. Or any reason for living. Hah!

Highlights of the day include a good movie, and good lobster for dinner. Good salad too... My other half got me an Adidas bag, and a football! I am officially the happiest guy alive on V-Day!!! Thanks lots! You know who you are!!!

Anyway, I have finised a short segment of the story I'm working on, thanks to work and other uncommitted stuff. So here it is, I await your humble and critical evaluation. Danke, domo, and thanks!

This shall remain untitled for now...

"Rain, rain, go away... come again another day..."

If anything were to pass his train of thought, that would be it! Stuck in the middle of a tropical storm, with a Mammoth chasing him, the last thing he needs is to lose sight of his pursuer.

But Kaizer, codenamed Edmerald, has nothing to fear. Equipped with the latest in medium class weaponary, a combination of a shotgun cum sub-machine gun, powered with the new 20 Q battery and wrapped in a state-of-the-art alloy covering, with SMS features and GPS built in, bright blue LCD interface panel where loads of useless information, such as time, date, battery power, and network reception are displayed, he is the most dangerous player on the battlefield (at the moment, that is...).

Wielding his 'Elephant Hunter'(he would much prefer this name at the moment... but it is, unfortunately, cornily named 'The Pulser'), he peered out from behind the building where he lay. The Mammoth was not in sight... yet... but that doesn't stop him from hearing it!

The Mammoth, as its name suggests, is a gigantic machine, capable of levelling whole cities which are not yet levelled. Yet, this powerful monstrosity belongs to the Angmorian army! Built to withstand extreme force, and combined with advanced weaponary, it is the foremost in ground battle, secondary only to the Bates Tank, which is twice its size and twice as deadly.

As his thoughts raced through the specifications of the Mammoth, he quickly mapped out his plan of attack. A ground assault would be deadly (for him), a guerilla attack would just be as bad, and an aerial assault would leave him dead as a bird before he could even hit the ground.

The Mammoth has NO weaknesses! Apart from the fact that it's slow and bulky, but that problem was solved long ago with the inclusion of turbo boosters. Trust the advancement of technology...

The thumping of the ground can be heard clearly now. The Mammoth must be around the corner. Slowly, Kaizer turns his head and peers out through the downpour. THUMP! THUMP! No Mammoth. THUMP! THUMP! Still he waits. THUMP! THUMP! Still no Mammoth. THUMP!

He saw the tip of a gun and retreated into the corner. "Holy man-eating cows!!!" he screams to himself! His intensive training has taught him how to recognize guns from all angles, including foreign ones, and this was one gun he did not want to see!

"A.. a.. f.. @%#$ Macroware WM-03!!!" he gasps under his breath. Also known as the "Window Maker version 3.11", it is named after it's ability to instantly create windows on walls.This wasn't how he remembered the Mammoth through the training videos that he saw. They were supposed to be equipped with Macroware WM-01b, but seeing that that piece of machinery always jams, it's no wonder why they substituted it with an upgrade.

With not much choice left, Kaizer waited with bated breath, hoping that the Mammoth will turn away and give him a clear shot! Or maybe a few... "Drat!" he thought to himself. "Why didn't they just ask me to hunt down mousedeers or something that wouldn't kill me?"

The Mammoth was now surveying its surroundings, scanning for its prey. Kaizer took another peek. The Mammoth wasn't looking his way. This was his chance!

Without further thinking, he set the Pulser to 'shotgun', and took aim. The sound of something hard colliding with metal resounded through the gaps in between the ruins of Tie Peng city. The Mammoth, unfazed by the direct hit to it's head turned towards the direction of the attack as Kaizer dashed out from his hiding spot.

Quickly, he delivered two more shots at point blank while he dashed towards the hulking, walking monstrosity of metal! Both found their mark, but delivered nothing more than a pin prick against the Mammoth's two-inch thick alloy armour.

Still, Kaizer pressed forward, leaped over the Mammoth, (aided by his Qi powered turbo boosters of course) and continued firing at it. Five out of five hit the Mammoth, and Kaizer was proud of this achievement. After all, he qualified as a gunner thanks to his ability to shoot on target.

By this time however, the Mammoth was getting really peeved by this zipping little midget tickling it left and right. And so, as soon as Kaizer landed behind it, it turned and let loose a barrage of 16 mini missiles from it's launcher, catching Kaizer off guard.

Meanwhile Kaizer, happy with his 'on-target' shots, was in a state of euphoria, and as he was about to land, he was thinking to himself of all the possible ways of finishing off the Mammoth. Should he stylishly shoot a hole through it's bulk? Or maybe he would do a 'Trinity' and kick the Mammoth to heck! Or maybe he could do the 'Samurai' thing, and finish it off with a close range mutilation of whatever metallic parts the Mammoth has inside.

Then, came the celebrations. 'Lone Gunner takes out Mammoth!' An honourary banquet, all the women he could have, a promotion! People cheering him as they carried him on a sedan chair across town...

Fsssssshhh... Kaizer dropped down from cloud nine, just in time to see the first of 16 mini missiles graze his cheek. The visuals fade into a blinding white as two more clipped part of his armour. He is so... f@#$!!!