Random Solitary Thoughts

Friday, June 18, 2004

The American way!

After a whole day spent in a plane, the three stoodles finally arrived at Newark Liberty Airport, New York. With another 8 hours or so before their next flight, the three stoodles decided to go downtown to check out the lifestlye of the over-glorified and dodgy.

But there was a slight problem. Their luggage, one of which weighed more than 20 kgs, would be a burden to lug around in town. So they decided to inquire about baggage services, hoping to leave their luggage at the airport while they roam the dodgy streets of New York.

Alas, shock came unsurprisingly when the information people told them that no such services exist anymore prior to the 9/11 incident which succeeded in making Americans paranoid about finding a bag unattended. (You will never see this scenario in Malaysia as the people here are too busy thinking about the spoils that they can get rather than the possibility of getting blown up by a hidden bomb)

So the three stoodles had to sit and wait in the airport until their next flight. During that time, a certain fire alarm kept going off, resulting in temporary hearing loss and difficulty in sleeping. But sleep still came and before long, they were on their way to the check-in counter.

After going through another security check whereby the only male member of the troupe gets frisked (again), they boarded the plane that will take them to the Canadian city of Toronto.

Meanwhile in Toronto, Agent Cryptobia was battling a thunderstorm amidst tornado warnings and foggy roads...

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

It always starts with...

Once upon a time... in a land not too far away (like maybe 50 km from where I live), polluted beyond recognition and flattened to accommodate numerous planes and various other aircraft, there begins a story. This story...

There, a young man assembles with a companion and her mother, in the hope of flying (in a plane of course) to the land of the free, America!

After a short flight to Singapore, for an hour's transit, he experienced his first frisking. The security officers gave no mercy and searched him mercilessly. After passing the initial checks, he was finally on his was to New York, and to freedom!

The flight was a tedious one, with stewardesses pushing food in his face everytime he managed to fall asleep. The seats were uncomfortable and that made it all worse. The selection of movies were good tho, so for the odd two hours or so when the air-sickness wasn't too bad, he would watch a movie.

Finally, they arrived at another transit point. This time, it was Amsterdam, city of legal prostitution and free porn (but then again, porn is never free)! The first clue that they were in Amsterdam was the obvious announcement by the stewardess. The second, was the availability of porn mags in the airport minimart. It was every 'jakun' Malaysian males' dream. A rack full of UNCENSORED porn! But the young man had better things to do than to stare at porn. He had a plane to catch!

This time, he was frisked even more! The women he was travelling with, got through the security checkpoint without incident, but he however, had to undergo frisking which resulted in him being touched and groped in places even his girlfriend had never gone before. It was truly a traumatising experience for our mild-mannered protagonist who would never in his life try to bomb a plane.

The highlight of the incident was when a security officer went through his bag and fished out a kungfu philosophy book that a friend had lent him. The officer asked him if he was a fan, to which he reluctantly answered 'yes' (reluctant, because they might not let him on board the plane if they knew he had martial arts experience and would have no trouble hijacking the plane without the need for penknives and plastic forks). The officer then smiled and let him through, proclaiming that he too was a fan. Lucky break for our mild-mannered protagonist who will never in his life bomb a US-bound plane! Sheeesh!!!

And so, they were on their way to New York! The flight there was slightly better, but still the food came at the most inappropriate of times and the air-sickness did not make consumption any easier for our enthusiastic protagonist. Soon (at least another 12 hours of torture) they arrived at Newark Liberty Airport, New York, USA!

There, they were to be slapped on the face with good old American bureaucracy! But that's another story...