Random Solitary Thoughts

Friday, May 18, 2007


Morning. Thin rays of light flutter through the curtains as they land and caress my face. As I lay there on my bed, barely aware of my surroundings, a calm sensation rests itself next to me. Warm.

I close my eyes and smile. And then I slowly get up, sit on the bed for a while longer, taking in my surroundings, my senses becoming aware of things going on. The sounds coming from downstairs, the sounds coming from outside the window. The smell of the breeze.

Gently, I turn off my alarm and make my way to the bathroom. The cool water flowing down my skin as I wash my face. Feeling the trickles of the droplets as they make their way down to my chest. Every single droplet tracing a path carefully, closing the pores of my skin as they glide over the surface. I felt everything.

I looked at the mirror, my own reflection gazing back at me. My eyes have changed. They're softer now. Brown. A colour I never noticed before. It is a wonderful colour, and I smiled.

The sun hits me full in the face as I stepped out from under the porch, a welcoming embrace. I looked up at the unusually blue sky, eyes squinting in the bright morning sun. The sky was so blue, the sun so bright. I never noticed those colours before.

I started walking, one foot in front of the other, pacing slowly. I feel the crunch of the tarmac as my foot lands with each step. I sensed the pebbles and sand as they resonate into the soles of my feet. My arms outstreched by my side, fingers spread, catching the breeze as it playfully weaves across my palms.

A bird is calling. The sounds of traffic barely audible. I could hear the grass. The leaves. I could feel the wind calling. Telling me stories from afar. For a moment, my senses are attuned to the world.

And I smiled once again.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


So it has been awhile since I've last written anything of substance. Heck, it's been awhile since I've written anything. I've been away, on a trip, if you'd like. I didn't go far, but I felt I've travelled the world.

April was an interesting month for me. It was long, unending, yet it ended abruptly in a manner most intriguing.

It started out as normally as any normal month would begin, with work picking up and trips up north almost every other week. Then came the tide that tilted everything into a perspective as skewed as one of picasso's paintings. I started to think.

Everything about my life since my decision half a year ago to leave everything behind and start anew began to fall apart. I don't know if it was clarity of mind, or the lack thereof that caused this sudden decline in routine and order. Suddenly, the new challenges didn't seem so intriguing, the schedules, increasingly tiring. My zest for life began to falter. I was getting demotivated. Demoralised. And utterly confused.

There was a void in my life. One that has been left too long to fester. Something was missing but I don't remember what it was. It was just a empty feeling I carried with me everywhere and in everything I did. I have been telling myself to let things happen as they have, but something inside me was telling me I've been too complacent.

I sought out various activities to feed my unease, but these only seemed to provide temporary reprise for the looming emptiness that greets me at home.

And then, under circumstances best left unsaid, I stumbled upon an answer. And I was curious. It reminded me of something familiar. So I dug a little deeper, and found a little more. And when I couldn't dig anymore, I got a friend to help me out. And somewhere, sometime, just as the month passed over to May, I found what I was looking for. And I smiled.

To said friend, nuff said. You know better.