When day's are gone...

Yesterday was a day that mild-mannered Jeff can be proud of. It was a normal Tuesday morning, cold and gray and humid in the dusty mundane office building.

Jeff arrived just in time to see his elusive boss arrive. He was in luck. His boss was not around on Monday, depriving Jeff of his chance to do what he had to do today... Casually, yet somewhat excitedly, he pranced into the office.

He waited rather anxiously in his invisible cubicle, while his boss loitered around the office checking up on people. The time is now. He has the chance. Patiently he waits.... and waits...

Finally, the boss returns to his room, and Jeff immediately sprang into action! Pulling out the loaded AK47 from the confines of his laptop-like bag, he rushed head-on into the fray! Pushing his colleagues out of his way, he barged into his boss' office, receiving surprised looks from his boss.

Panting and heaving (and possibly frothing from the mouth), he confronted his boss, who can only mutter a simple, "What is the problem?" And then... BOOM!!! His brains were all over the room! The girls screamed amidst the diabolical laughter of Jeff!!!

And then he wakes...

Jeff sits on his bed contemplating whether or not he wants to go to work. Faking a medical sounds extremely tempting at this point. But his principles persist that he be an honest employee and report for work. Besides, he has something that needs to be done...

Jeff arrived just in time to see his elusive boss arrive. He was in luck. His boss was not around on Monday, depriving Jeff of his chance to do what he had to do today... Casually, yet somewhat excitedly, he pranced into the office.

He waited rather anxiously in his invisible cubicle, while his boss loitered around the office checking up on people. The time is now. He has the chance. Patiently he waits.... and waits...

Finally, the boss returns to his room, and Jeff immediately sprang into action! Pulling out the letter from the confines of his laptop-like bag, he rushed head-on into the office! Pushing his doubts out of his way, he barged into his boss' office, receiving surprised looks from his boss.

Anxious and nervous(and possibly peeing in his pants from glee), he confronted his boss, who can only mutter a simple, "What is the problem?" And then... BOOM!!! He handed the letter to him.

A brief exchange of words later, and Jeff walked out of the office, no longer an employee of the company which he serves. He strides with confidence back to his invisible cubicle, and there he sighs.

He has resigned...

*All names and indications which may appear to be somewhat familiar are merely conincidences and the story is fully fictional.

Mischief...

On this glorious day, Kalamari felt bored doing mindless crap for mindless students who should be using more of their grey matter. So, as his head slowly dropped and his eyes began to close, MultiPurpose Man struck!!! With a tang of mischief, MPM decided to do justice to an otherwise boring and subliminally hypnotizing piece of work! Here is what he wrote on a page of Journal meant to be used as a screenshot for the CD-Rom that poor Kalamari had to spend his time doing.

Journal of an innocent Form 4 schoolkid...

"Dear E-Journal,
Today, my teacher was attempting to teach us sex education. By attempting, I meant that the teacher was basically pointing to the textbook and was asking us to read it ourselves and to ask questions whenever we do not understand anything.
As a result, some of the students were asking things like, is it okay to have sex during a period? Is swallowing semen safe? Does anal sex hurt? One girl even asked what sperm tastes like.
The teacher was understandably distraught. I mean who wouldn't? She was still single, and pretty hot by most standards, and a lot of the male teachers would leer at her behind her back. So how would she go about answering questions like these without people giving her weird looks?
Anyhow, the class progressed well enough, for most that is. I personally had a lot of problems trying to figure out what is a penis and it's functions. So I went up to the teacher to ask if she could help me understand what a scrotum is. She told me to meet her after school in the teaching lounge.
So there I was, an innocent schoolboy of 16, meeting my teacher after schooling hours for an extra class on sex education because I was too dumb to know the difference between a hymen and a testicle. What followed cannot be written here, in case someone finds this journal. Therefore, I shall implant a virus that will automatically erase this journal entry if someone other than me accesses it.
But safe to say, I had a lesson I'll never forget and now, even as I type this, Ms. Chan, or should I say, Mr. Chan is giving me 'private' lessons in my home. School had never been better... "

MPM: P.S. I hope somebody reads this out loud in school... >:)

T.G.I.Friday...

'This is not a good day...', whispered Gabriel as he sits on the edge of his bed, contemplating whether to go to work or call in sick. A nauseous feeling of dread filled him as he sat there, basking in the warm morning air.

'Responsibilities need to be filled...' he muttered under his breath as he slowly and painfully struggled to get a grip on his life. He dragged himself to the bathroom and washed his face, barely recognizing the reflection on the mirror (how many countless times have we read things like that these... sigh).

There was no joy. No purpose. No direction in what he was doing. Gabriel worked as a multimedia desginer for a big corporation where nothing else but money matters. As he slipped into his work clothes, he thought about the tasks that lay ahead, about the faces that will greet him in the office.

He grabbed his bag and his car keys and sauntered to his car. He was being underpaid, not appreciated, not learning much, and being made to do things against his principles. He thought of a conversation he had with a friend the night before.

"It's like, just wrong man!"
"What's wrong?"
"The whole thing! I mean, it's always about the money. Screw the quality, get it done and publish it and make some money! And if that's not enough, they want me to do this project, for a year, and the purpose is not to make something good! It's to make money! Why? Coz they're friggin products can't sell anymore! And they want to make more money, so what do they do? They dump this seemingly dodgy project on us, and tell us do it, and we make more money!"
"It's always bout the money!"
"Yes! It's all about the money!" Gabriel ranted.

"I f***in hate money..."
"Why don't you part with yours and buy me a drink?"
"Shut up you p***k..."
"Haha..."
"What the fffss.... I am SO gonna OWN your @$$ tonight!"
"Man, that sounds... wrong..."
"Shut up... you just watch out.. battle.net!"
"You're gay. Stay away..."
"F***! You're dead!"
"bash.org"
"Don't you f***ing dare!!!"

As he drove along the road to work, he smiles... Because he 'owned' last night... on battle.net...

Injured

Last night, mild-mannered Kalamari was pushed over the edge during a futsal game. It started out as an ordinary Wednesday night futsal game. That is, until the young students came.

They were an aggressive bunch, brutally pushing and shoving and mindlessly socking the ball as hard as they could. As a result of that, Kalamari was hit twice, once in the face and another in the guts, and was tripped while performing his duties as an amatuer defender.

Next week, when injuries heal, it will be time to call upon MultiPurpose Man, to perform justice, to these... neandarthals... MUAHAHHAHAHAH!!!

Signed, The Author

"And nothing ever happens... and I wonder... " -Fool's Garden-

Today was another mundane day at the office for our mild-mannered protagonist, Kalamari. Coming into the office late, all because of nosy people stopping in the midle of the road to witness an accident, it was not the end of things as he was propelled into a kaleidoscope of tasks, mostly mundane ones...

So, as he gazed into the monitor with blank eyes, drawing couch potatoes gorging themselves silly, he called upon the incredible powers of MultiPurpose Man! (and insignificant hound) And as, our caped hero arrives, he did the next best thing to improve poor Kalamari-san's M.O.R.A.L.E.(Motivational Ordinance Required by Aggravated Lifeless Executives) He did... this...

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

You are the rare, the overlooked, yet incredibly useful dodecahedron: the d12. You are a creative, romantic soul. You often act without thinking, but make up for your lack of plans with plenty of heart. You easily solve problems that stump others, but your answers tend to put you into even deeper trouble. You write long, detailed backgrounds for all your characters, and are most likely to dress up as one or get involved in cos-play. You can be silly at times and are easily distracted by your own day dreams, but are at the end of the day you're someone who can be depended on.

With his work done, and M.O.R.A.L.E. restored, our caped hero escaped into the office building, only to be reprimanded by Edna (of the incredibles) for wearing a cape... Go figure...

Starry starry Night...

Last night, mild-mannered Kalamari stumbled home after agravating an injury he sustained as MultiPurpose Man, something he seems to be doing with increasing frequency.

As he drove into the street where he lived, he noticed that his neighbours were out and that the lights were out. "Another blackout..." he sighs.

Groping in the dark (and fortunately not groping the wrong things... ahem...) he found a torch and a candle, and was soon bathing by candlelight. Definitely a romantic experience which all newlyweds (ahem)should try... together... in the dark... when no one is in the house... and... *slap* (MultiPurpose Man appears to strike realisation that this conversation is getting out of hand!)

Seeing (or rather, not seeing) that there was to be no reading by candlelight, Kalamari decided to just chill out by playing the guitar (the berimbau would be too noisy and besides, it was still at the academia). It was of course another suggestion for newly weds to try (ahem).

The 'Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu' dvd would have to wait. The Need For Speed Underground 2 game would have to wait. The night would be spent enjoying what nature intended for us to enjoy.

(The song Starry starry Night by the late John Denver plays in the background...)