Random Solitary Thoughts

Monday, March 21, 2005


On this glorious day, Kalamari felt bored doing mindless crap for mindless students who should be using more of their grey matter. So, as his head slowly dropped and his eyes began to close, MultiPurpose Man struck!!! With a tang of mischief, MPM decided to do justice to an otherwise boring and subliminally hypnotizing piece of work! Here is what he wrote on a page of Journal meant to be used as a screenshot for the CD-Rom that poor Kalamari had to spend his time doing.

Journal of an innocent Form 4 schoolkid...

"Dear E-Journal,
Today, my teacher was attempting to teach us sex education. By attempting, I meant that the teacher was basically pointing to the textbook and was asking us to read it ourselves and to ask questions whenever we do not understand anything.
As a result, some of the students were asking things like, is it okay to have sex during a period? Is swallowing semen safe? Does anal sex hurt? One girl even asked what sperm tastes like.
The teacher was understandably distraught. I mean who wouldn't? She was still single, and pretty hot by most standards, and a lot of the male teachers would leer at her behind her back. So how would she go about answering questions like these without people giving her weird looks?
Anyhow, the class progressed well enough, for most that is. I personally had a lot of problems trying to figure out what is a penis and it's functions. So I went up to the teacher to ask if she could help me understand what a scrotum is. She told me to meet her after school in the teaching lounge.
So there I was, an innocent schoolboy of 16, meeting my teacher after schooling hours for an extra class on sex education because I was too dumb to know the difference between a hymen and a testicle. What followed cannot be written here, in case someone finds this journal. Therefore, I shall implant a virus that will automatically erase this journal entry if someone other than me accesses it.
But safe to say, I had a lesson I'll never forget and now, even as I type this, Ms. Chan, or should I say, Mr. Chan is giving me 'private' lessons in my home. School had never been better... "

MPM: P.S. I hope somebody reads this out loud in school... >:)


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