Random Solitary Thoughts

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


So it has been awhile since I've last written anything of substance. Heck, it's been awhile since I've written anything. I've been away, on a trip, if you'd like. I didn't go far, but I felt I've travelled the world.

April was an interesting month for me. It was long, unending, yet it ended abruptly in a manner most intriguing.

It started out as normally as any normal month would begin, with work picking up and trips up north almost every other week. Then came the tide that tilted everything into a perspective as skewed as one of picasso's paintings. I started to think.

Everything about my life since my decision half a year ago to leave everything behind and start anew began to fall apart. I don't know if it was clarity of mind, or the lack thereof that caused this sudden decline in routine and order. Suddenly, the new challenges didn't seem so intriguing, the schedules, increasingly tiring. My zest for life began to falter. I was getting demotivated. Demoralised. And utterly confused.

There was a void in my life. One that has been left too long to fester. Something was missing but I don't remember what it was. It was just a empty feeling I carried with me everywhere and in everything I did. I have been telling myself to let things happen as they have, but something inside me was telling me I've been too complacent.

I sought out various activities to feed my unease, but these only seemed to provide temporary reprise for the looming emptiness that greets me at home.

And then, under circumstances best left unsaid, I stumbled upon an answer. And I was curious. It reminded me of something familiar. So I dug a little deeper, and found a little more. And when I couldn't dig anymore, I got a friend to help me out. And somewhere, sometime, just as the month passed over to May, I found what I was looking for. And I smiled.

To said friend, nuff said. You know better.


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