Life's like that...

Wars are fought and lives are lost. For money.

Religion is used to oppress and lives are lost. For power.

Terrorists terrorize and lives are lost. For their demands.

Politicians lie and hope is lost. For f***s sake!

Grad school students whine about their grades (but they're still lost). For bragging rights?

Perhaps it's time we sit around and not be greedy. Because if we look around us, we have all we need already.

But of course that's just wishful thinking.

Because life's like that.

New Beginnings... again...

It seems odd to me, that what once was a daily event soon turned into a weekly one. And then it became monthly. Then eventfully. And finally, mostly forgotten.

Well, not quite. For if that were the case, I wouldn't be writing this about 1 and a half years after my last post. So much has changed in such a short span of time, and I'm mildly surprised to this blog still very much alive after almost 15 years of writing.

Looking back at my first posts, I saw how my writing has evolved, and so has the subject matter. I used less colloquialism, and started using actual words. I began to explore the wonders of the English language and it's little quirks, and challenged myself to write better, and write smarter (or at least I hoped).

There used to fantasies, stories to enthrall, and random allegories of life. Parodies and poetry and pugnacious abstractions. These soon became slices of life that kept my from going sane insane.  They soon became lost like the marks on my grades.

No longer was I whining about whimsical, trivial things like cleaning my room or complaining about how much that movie sucked. I stop ranting on and on about the inadequacies of the system and injustice of my country's administration. (But it's not like I stopped caring. I just stopped ranting, and started doing)

Perhaps it's time to go back to the days when a drop in the temperature would give birth to prose and inspiration.When the morning dew would rage intense imagery of the beauty of the world. Where the simple chirping of birds would jostle one awake and ready to face the bright (or un-bright) new day.

Perhaps in this new city, it's time to write again.

Happy Monday!

It's been about two years since I wrote. Much have happened. Much have not.

Life is funny, life is ironic. Life has been such. It's sometimes an oxymoron, and sometimes a tautology; a convoluted maze filled with recondite pedagogical puzzles.

But that's what makes it interesting. It's triumphs and trials, it's successes and defeats, it's wins and losses. There's always a balance, of Ying and Yang; a karmic balance that religion tries to attribute to devotion, philosophy ignores, and science tries to explain.

Yet it exists. And sometimes it's heartening to know when that balance occurs and the cycle comes a full circle and the work that you've done makes sense. Your life makes sense.

And it's worth it. Most of the time anyway.

Maybe all of the time.

Happy Monday!

Intellectual Diarrhea

Contrary to the title, this post is far from a story about bowel movements. Rather, it tells the story of how one ingests a rather huge amount of intellectual musings in recent times and finding not the capacity to hold it all in, in the secret recesses of his mind causes it to implode within the limited confines of his compartmentalized brain.

Therefore, we find ourselves at this point in time where there is a need to regurgitate some of this intellectual properties to make space for more. And as an afterthought to prevent potential irreversible damage to the mind and other bits which are connected to it.

A flurry of information, most of which requires lots of reflection and thinking. Something I haven't been doing for a long time, finding solace and peace in my mindless, emotionless ramble through a life littered with pretentious facades and meaningless aspirations. Yet something has always bothered me, something deeper than I can comprehend. Always nudging me towards a direction. But where?

For a while I was content to ride the tide and flow with the wind. But these intellectual spikes have awaken my hunger and curiosity to seek answers. No longer am I content to just ride the waves of fate and destiny. I start to question these cosmic tugs. And the more I question, the more answers I get. But these answers only seek to give birth to yet more questions. So many questions that my limited mind is filled to the brim, and thus it's natural response is to release.

So here I immortalize some of my musings, in the hopes and I've made room for more. And perhaps when my head finally stops aching, I may find some time to actually write something more intelligent than this piece of purge.

When one is left behind...

It's morning. The morning light brings with it a sense of a new beginning. A new beginning for everyone. For me, for my family, my friends. Everyone.

But I didn't want it to begin this way...

I have had new beginning's before. More than I would like to remember, and this one like the others, pains me as well. Maybe more, since I am now able to fully comprehend the complex emotions that flood me.

At first I started out venturing into the big wide world. More for necessity than choice. You see, my mother left me. I don't know where she went and whatever siblings I had I don't remember what happened to them.

Lost and alone, someone picked me up. Salvation. I thought I was saved. But that feeling was only short-lived. Soon, I was to be sent away to another place.

I arrived safely and was cared for. It was a good feeling but deep inside, I knew this was not to be my permanent home. No, the greater powers above had other plans for me. Still I made friends, most unexpected of all with a dog named after the infamous hurricane which ravaged New Orleans.

True enough a family came and adopted me, giving me a place to stay. And for a while I thought I was home...

The time has come for me to go. My new foster parents are here for me. My family, is moving away to a land far away. It's better for me this way they said. Don't worry, I won't cry. I've done this many times before and I'm all grown up now.

You may see this as an end, but for me, it's a new beginning. So be happy for me, the way I'm happy for you. That you're moving on. I will too, in my own way.

I wish you a safe journey to the land for away. May you be well and happy. Farewell, and thanks for all the fish.

-The one who was left behind-

Oh... f@ck...!

Oooohhh.... f@ck! This is bad, this is bad! He knows! God knows how he knows but he knows! Even I'm not sure if God knows that he knows, but he knows!

Ohf@ckohf@ckohf@ck! He's BACK!!!!

Why so soon?!?!?! It's too soon it's too soon it's too soon! He's not supposed to be back till late! That's what he said! Oh s#it! What am I gonna do??!?! I'm so f@cked!

Hooooooolleeeeeeyyyy s#iiiiiiiiiiiiit! I can hear his bike, he's back! Onononononono, wait, I know. I'll pretend, yes, it's always good to pretend. I'll just pretend like nothing happened and he won't know. I'll just sit and look up at the beautiful full moon tonight and pretend that nothing happened...

But he'll find out!!! Eventually... and eventually means it'll be too late! Haha!

But what if he knows the moment he stopped the bike? He has this uncanny way of knowing things. Some might call it a sixth sense, and some say we have it too, but it's just too much to RISK!!! I just know he'll know! My own sixth sense tells me that!

Oh f@ck, he's back! He's just outside the gate. Hide the evidence, HIDE the evidence! Oh wait, it's too late, he'll see. I'll just act innocent. That's right, don't look him in the eye. He'll know.

Dum de daa...

Cathy, what're you doing??? Cathy! Stop acting suspicious! He has his way of knowing! CATHY stop that now! Just chill, okay? Relax. Don't! F@ck! Just act normal, okay? We're in this together. If I get in trouble, you'll get in trouble too. You're my accomplice remember? Haha!

Okay, he's got off the bike, taking his gloves off. Act calm act calm. Just sitting there, acting calm. That's it, Cathy, do the same. That's a good girl. We're gonna make it.

He's opening the gate, Cathy! Stop! Don't go there! Just stay here with me. I need you. Please. Thank you.

Okay, he's coming in. He doesn't have a clue... (grins inside)

*In reality, I dare not grin out loud for fear of being discovered... but all seems well... for now... *

Wait, he's not smiling. Oh f@ck, he paused! I knew it, I just knew it! Oh no he's taking out the torchlight app!!!

Phew! False alarm. He's just shining the way in. Okay, divert his attention away from the area. Okay, that's good. We're safe. Oh f@ck! He stopped again. My heart is beating. My sixth sense tells me he knows. Oh f@ck he knows!

Wait, he's going into the house. We're safe! But wait, he isn't smiling. I bet he knows something's up, he just hasn't seen the evidence yet. Anytime now...

Cathy, behave. Remember, the plan is to be on our best behaviour. Hopefully he forgets to check... That's it, go to your room Cathy. I'll wait here for him. Okay, he's wheeling the bike in. So far so good, but don't smile yet. It'll give it away.

He's shutting the gate, we're almost there Cathy. Just stay nonchalant. F@ck! He stopped. Ononononononoo... he's turning to the left... I knew it, he KNOWS!!! Some how, he just knows this stuff! Arrrghhh! We're busted Cathy, we're so busted. He'll have our @rses for dinner! Oh f@ck oh f@ck oh f@ck!

HE FOUND IT!!! NooOoOOOOoOo!!! We didn't cover it up in time!!! He's sorting it out now!!! Oh woe is me!!! He's gonna kill me!

S#it, wait. He's walking back into the house. Could it be? Are we forgiven? Oh no oh no oh no... oh f@ck! He's giving me The Grin! Oh f@ck I'm so dead! He's going in, he hardly even flinched after seeing the mess we made! We're so in deep s#it! Oh f@ck!

He's still inside. I don't think he's gonna walk us tonight. That's our punishment.

He gave me The Grin. I'm sure he has something planned. Oh f@ck, I'm so scared! It's your fault Cathy! If only you jumped up and down to greet him like you always do! It's all your fault! What? Me? WTF?!

Oh f@ck how am I to get peace of mind?!?! Oh the guilt! Oh the suffering... oh f@ck oh f@ck oh f@ck...

-Cirque the Relentless-

A Random Solitary Thought...

It is a rare occasion when I can sit down in front of my trusty laptop and have absolutely nothing urgent to attend to.

And thus, it is so on a quiet (well, not quite, considering it is still Chinese New Year and my neighbours are still shooting fireworks in the sky...) Saturday night. The dogs have had their walk and are tucked into the porch and crate where they sleep, the water is on the boil for some nice herbal tea and I have a couple of minutes before the water boils to finish this entry.

So it boils down (no directionally intentional pun intended) to how often I find the time to update this intriguing piece of cyberspace. No doubt my posts have been sporadic at best, and my recent meetings with old friends have yielded the question of when was the last time I wrote. Ironically, these same people haven't been reading my blog for the past year. Or more.

This blog originally served as a platform to update friends of the mundane and sometimes less than mundane happenings of my life. However as one friend puts it, Facebook does that efficiently these days. So is it still necessary to update this space?

I believe so. For this blog also serves as a channel to express my unresolved thoughts and opinions, most of which (especially to those who know me) are not fit to publish on a site such as Facebook for fear of many repercussions, be it towards co-workers, friends and even family.

But lately, most of my blog-able thoughts have been resolved before they make it to the binary fields of the internet, causing much silence in this blog in need of dire attention.

So it has come to be that I shall henceforth express my resolved thoughts and opinions on this space, at least as a creative means to practise my writing. The occasional story may follow, as and when the bug bites.

And I guess, as I manage to find these little pockets of time, so shall Multipurpose Man arise, as will the alter-egos of my pets, past and present; and many more.

Good night everyone, and have a good weekend ahead.