Random Solitary Thoughts

Sunday, January 26, 2003

The Amazonian Journal of the Journey to the East

The first day of the Week of the Hamster of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

I am so utterly convinced that someone or something is out there, trying to scare me from my home. It could be because of the recent troubles that I hear coming from Tristram. A plate of unfinished chicken rice was left on the table. Who in their right mind would leave unfinish food out in the open? Forget that. Who in their right mind DOESN'T finish his food? The thought lingers in my mind as I carry on with my daily activities of feeding the cow, milking the cow, washing the cow... preparing the cow for slaughtering... I mean, how many things can one do with one cow?!?

Bow and Crossbow training is next on my oh-so-boring and mundane morning. I like the word mundane. I dunno why but I like it. It has a nice ring to it. Okay, enough of that nonsense. Back to training.

The second day of the Week of the Hamster of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

Woke up to find another plate of unfinished chicken rice on the dining table. Pretty convinced that something is out to get me! Will have to step up Spear and Javelin training later on... But first have to feed the cow, milk the cow, wash the cow... prep... oh wait... didn't I slaughter the cow yesterday? Right... now I'll have to chop up the meat, salt the meat, bring the meat to the market, sell the meat, buy more meat... come home and eat... I mean how mundane can one's like be? There I go again.. mundane.. I really like this word!

The third day of the Week of the Hamster of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

The plate miraculously appears again on the dining table. I must talk to my housemate about this. Something is definitely up. Will practice with magic arrows today. But before that, need to feed the chicken, wash the chicken, milk the chicken.. er.. I mean, egg the chicken... de-feather the chicken... I mean, how many things can one do with a chicken?!? Mundane mundane... I really really like this word... XD

The fourth day of the Week of the Hamster of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

Unfinished plate of rice with egg sighted on dining table today. Maybe it's because there's no more chicken. Will have to practice lightning spear techniques later. Housemate have confirmed that he is moving out to seek his fortune in the Cold Plains. Fool! I say to him! He will only get himself killed, that brat! No matter, one less mouth to feed. Heard rumours from the goat-seller that Tristram has finally fallen to the hands of the Dark Wanderer. Rumour has it that he is heading towards the Rouge Encampment. I sense something big is happening. Maybe a feast or something... other than that... mundane as usual... sigh...

The fifth day of the Week of the Hamster of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

The mystery of the unfinished plate of food has been solved. As of today, no unfinished plate of food was seen on the dining table! The unfinished food which always appears has disappeared as mysteriously as it has come! If only my housemate was hear to share the good news. Anyway, heard from the townsfolk that my housemate was killed trying to clear the Den of Evil. Hah! I knew he was a wuss! Still, I can't help feeling sorry for the guy. The poor whelp couldn't even wash his own dishes, let alone handle a butter knife. Too bad he had to be stupid as well and get himself killed. Ah well... I'll have to feed the goat, milk the goat, wash the goat, slaughter the goat... and then train my various acrobatic skills... The day is mundane as usual...

The sixth day of the Week of the Hamster of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

No time to write. Our Queen has given the order that a few choosen ones are to gather and go forth to the Rouge encampment to hunt down the Dark Wanderer. Apparently when he left Tristram in shambles, he accidently killed the Queen's toy boy. Unfortunately, he's also her favourite. So, to appease her wrath, she is sending me and a four others to track down this wanderer and put and end to his miserable attempts to seduce her. (Well, that's what she said anyway...) Packing is such a boring mundane chore... must make a note to myself so as to not forget my favourite spear.

The Third day of the Week of the Guinea Pig of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

Finally had a few minutes to write. I forgot my favourite spear! Curses... will have to make do with cheap javelins for now. It has been four days of endless battles since we arrive at the Rouge Encampment. I can understand why my housemate died. The monsters roaming the land are weak. My housemate was weaker. One of my fellow party members perished at the hands of Blood Raven, the dead rouge who died and was brought back to life and corrupted at the hands of the Demoness Andariel. I know it makes no sense, but that's what the witch woman Akara says, so we have to believe it or else we get thrown out of the encampment. Seeing these de-spirited rouges makes me feel mundane. Oh, ya, I killed Blood Raven after she killed my teammate but I do not know how one can kill one who is already dead, but anyways she died again, and I don't think she's coming back anytime soon. Plus, I got some lousy helmet for it. I mean, what's it gonna do to my hair?

The Third day of the Week of the Guinea Pig of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

Came back from Tristram ala 'Town Portal'!!! The place is a mess! No wonder our Queen was so pissed with the Wanderer. The whole place was burnt. I used to remember it in its days of glory when Griswold the blacksmith would joke with everyone including the kids (I was a kid back then). Now all that's left of him is a dead, infested, corrupted walking corpse who I had to put out of misery. Tears almost filled my eyes seeing him like that... then, he hit me, so I impaled him and did numerous merciless things to him before he lay motionless on the ground.

The place needless to say was overrun by minions. And exploding cows. Don't get me wrong, cows don't usually explode but they did anyway. And oh, we found Wirt's body. The cheating b@$%@#$ used to cheat me out of my week's allowance everytime he sold me some piece of worthless junk! Plus, the horny b@$%@# always tries to make me bend down or squat so that he could peek under my loinskin! Glad to see him dead. Found a lot of cash on his corpse. Took what he owed me plus his peg leg. Don't know why I did it, but I think it may come in useful later on.

Managed to save Deckard Cain, the last of the Horadrim and the Queen's boy toy. Apparently he survived as opposed to the rumours. Must remember to poke out goat-seller's eyes for giving false information to the Queen and making us come here for nothing. The party, having finished our mission wanted to go home, but decided to pay Andariel a visit for causing us much pain, and to avenge the loss of our friend. Other than that, it was a mundane event. The usual blood and gore... nothing extraordinary... Feeling (words smeared by teardrops) now... need to sl.. (again smeared by teardrops) (Editor's note: Entry stopped abruptly here...)

The Second day of the Week of the Rabbit of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

Tamoe Highlands. We have breached the monastery and made it into the inner cloister. Lost another comrade (comrade... sounds odd... doesn't have a nice ring to it, unlike mundane. I shall not use this word again...) during the battle with the Smith who guards the Horadric Malus which Charsi the whiny Blacksmith at the camp needs to forge more powerful weapons. Not to say her weapons are any good to begin with...

Spent last night in the catacombs. Rats are not tasty at all. Tomorrow, we will probably be facing Andariel the Demoness. Apparently she's afraid of fire. Funny though, considering she was born out of the fires of hell. Well, nothing to do but trust old witch tales. Ah... my shift is ending, time to sleep...

The Third day of the Week of the Rabbit of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

At last with her last breath of poison, she fell to the ground, but not without taking one of our friends with her. The b@$#%!!! Anger filled my last remaining teammate, and she continuously stabbed Andariel's lifeless corpse with a series of quick jabs! I had to pull her back before she could damage the head, as we need it for proof of our victory! But, as we were heading back, she grabbed her spear and impaled Andariel from bottom to top. (Apparently, she was in love with our fallen companion...) Just at that moment, a party comprising a Paladin, a Barbarian, a Necromancer, and a Sorceress barged in! Too bad, they missed the fight!

I stood there consoling my companion, as they left the catacombs. When we arrived back at the encampment, a huge feast was underway! We approached, only to find that the party of four had proclaimed themselves the saviours of the land! They had claimed that they killed Andariel and as proof, produced a demon head! But the rogues can't tell the difference between a lowly demon and Andariel and thus hailed them as heroes. My companion rushed forth to protest, but we received hostilities instead. The rogues blamed us for bringing the troubles to them. I mean, what the !@$#?!??!?

Being the more sensible one, I tore my friend away from the mob and we hurriedly left the camp. These losers can go party all they want! Moving out, we noticed someone following us... I turned and grabbed hold of the monster, ready to strike when I realised it was none other than Deckard Cain! We had forgotten about him! He proceeded to follow us, knowing that we will have to protect hima dn keep him alive for the sake of our Queen. Of course, if left at the rouge camp, they will eventually kill him when they found out that all the ancient Horadrim did was party all day and night, and that their advice, and 'wisdom' was none other than drug induced ramblings!

So we headed out towards the jungles where our Amazonian tribes lay. Hopefully dawn will soon arrive and I can finally sleep while these two prepare breakfast. I hate night shifts... they're so mundane...

The Third day of the Week of the Wombat of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

One week of travelling and still no sign of greenery. No food. Not much water. One shriveling old man making a whole lot of noise. One lesbian Amazon clinging on to me as if I am the replacement of her lost lover. One measly stick of javelin left to keep us alive after old senile Horadrim used the rest for firewood!!! Life is so mundane...

The Fifth day of the Week of the Wombat of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

Saw a wandering party of caravans heading towards us. Waved and managed to flag down the leader. Leader refused to let us travel with them. Bartered old senile Horadrim for food and shelter and traveling expenses. Travelled with merchant caravans heading east to the desert town of Lut Gholein. Had a nice chit chat with the gypsy girls. Life ain't so mundane anymore...

The Sixth day of the Week of the Wombat of the month of the Rooster, of the year of the Goat...

Caravan leader Warriv returned Cain to us. He claimed that Cain wasn't as good in bed as we had promised. Wanted to throw us out but gypsy girls came to the rescue. Gypsy girls took a liking for Aliza, my companion in travel and in war. Aliza agreed to 'keep gypsy girls happy' in exchange for passage. Warriv agrees. Aliza doesn't seem so mundane anymore. She's actually prettier now that she smiles... shucks.. what am I thinking? Been around her too long...

The First day of the Week of the Caterpillar of the month of the Slug, of the year of the Goat...

Aliza has grown very fond of the gypsy girls. Cain is getting fond of Warriv. Warriv is definitely NOT fond of Cain. Warriv is getting fond of me. I'm not too fond of Warriv nor of his cooking. Am having mundane dreams about the Barbarian I saw back in the Rouge Encampment. This is not good... Only a few more days to go... only a few more mundane days...

(to be continued... )

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home