Random Solitary Thoughts

Monday, September 18, 2006

Of things that burn out...

I lit the incense and watch it burn into ashes. Then I watch as the ashes are washed away by the billowy wind that carries it to the corners of my house. I watched as the light burns out.

Too many things are burning out in my life. At times I think it may be an indication of change, as some of those things are doubts in my path. Things which I took to be born out of my passion for them are discovered to be of a less passionate origin. Things from which I drew my passion from no longer fuel me.

I watched as my love for animation and design took a back seat to a more solid career path and a different set of opportunities. Reasons of interest made way for space to grow. Personal satisfaction is defined as doing something that you will love in the end, rather than just the process of getting there.

In a way, I learnt to distinguished what I enjoy, and what I love.

I am now contemplating giving up an art which has driven me for more than three years. Maybe not give up entirely, but definitely a break. It has become something of a chore in recent times. That is something I've yet to understand, for it was once the very thing which spurred me onwards. Now it only seeks to tire me.

Maybe it's the people. Maybe it's the culture, the community. Maybe it's the changes. But people change. Things change.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I just found something better.

And in the darkness I lit another incense. And I watched it burn slowly. The glow of the light seemed so bright in the calm darkness of the night.

Today I quit my job for reasons of my own, to pursue something in a totally different line of work. I know I've mentioned winds of change in a previous post, and this is the first of many. There are still loose ends to tie up.


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