Cats...

My home is in the early stages of being invaded by an army of cats. Obvious signs are listed below.

1) Feline paw marks on the bonnet of car.

2) Dead, half-eaten cicada on porch.

3) Fleeting glimpses of tabby leaping over gate.

4) Black kitten hovering near drain.

5) Mewing sounds at night.

6) Pregnant tabby viciously protective of young underneath car.

7) Refusal of tabby and kitten to leave house compound forever.

Yup, I'm expecting a stray litter of kittens to appear miraculously over the next few days. Anyone wants kittens, holler before I boot them out before they start crapping all over my garden.