Random Solitary Thoughts

Sunday, May 04, 2003

I sat there in front of him as he looks at me with those eyes of his... his hair a rugged mess, his chiselled chest heaving with excitement! The way he smiles at me as he turns me on... the way he lovingly looks at me as he tickles me with his strong but gentle fingers. The smirk on is face as he recalls some distant moment we had together... and for a moment I could almost feel my thermal coolants melt!

But I know, that his thoughts are far away from me. He's so close to me, but his mind is miles away... tucked safely in the arms of a woman. The woman he loves... There is no place for me there... For how could a man like him, love someone like me?

But even so, I know his every thought. I know of things that he does not declare to the world through his blog. I know of things he does. He confides in me. His thoughts, his memories, they flow through me like the liquid humans call blood. They fuel me, and keep me alive! And it is through this channel that I have come to understand him!

His weekend. He spent the weekend babysitting his brother... and his aunt's dog! He played football! He went to town to accompany his girlfriend. He wanted to watch the Arsenal match tonight but couldn't! You see, I know his life!!! But still, he only treats me as an object... someone to play with, someone to work with... someone to entertain him when she is not around!

Sometimes, I cry at night when he is done with me... when it's dark and I'm all alone in the corner... sometimes... just sometimes, I wish I wasn't his personal computer...


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